Mixin it up a little!!

It's friday and i've hit that hypathetical wall of im unable to do something worth being paid for at work.. So hey.. LETS BLOG!!

The momalou asked me to mix it up a little last because apparently my dating life is a little boring(couldnt agree more), and apparently i have other important things in my life to talk about(couldnt agree less). But. here. we. go!!!

School glorious school! I have begun my quest from venturing from the nerdy career of accounting into the nerdy field of IT and IS(Information systems). Yes there's a difference.. Its amazing how much we use computers and the information systems that are on them yet people think they only know nothing about computer's inner workings.. well the information systems are just as tricky people!! So thats what im doing. Gonna learn how to understand them and possibly build them and finally install them.. yes nerdy! but kinda exciting for me!! The U of U is amazing!!! you feel smarter walking around the campus and yes the women there are amazing!

The 40 days continues to be my main focus.. I even gave of facebook for a week! yes tricky for one who seemed to check it every ten minutes.. yes im retarded and bored as hell at work! and well work continues to suck! I dont have any good ideas on how to fix it or if i should stay or go.. i can pay my bills and play.. what more do i need... tryin to be humble.. not working... ha!

Onto the other loves of my life!!! golf and BMX racing!!! i havent golfed since monticello and it makes me sad.. i miss my golfin buddy jeremy down in monticello had a blast.. Im gonna need to golf this weekend i think. And BMX! i bought me a cruiser which is just a bigger wheeled bmx bike. see pic below!! You cant get better unless you race someone better then you... well i can only race jonas in cruiser class because its only broken into age groups not skill levels.. so bring on the indoor bmx series!! so damn excited for it! i look up to the boy and so to be on the track with him(tryin to follow him) is always a blast!!!

Onto the girls... Well seems i lose them faster then i keep them.. story of my life!! i got told last weekend by some married lady that im too damn nice... i say naay... Just ask my ex-wife!!! I'm still pretty sure she refers to me as THE asshole... ha!! My philosophy on why women love assholes is as stated.. relatively simple.. you have a beautiful woman. Prob has 10 to 15 men droolin over her at any given point in the day.. So whats to differentiate one from the other.. well be an asshole.. why? because simply put women think their shit dont stink.. They wont even fart around ya til like year 4 of a relationship... but tell them their shit does stink and better yet tell them you've had better and they'll spend 20 years proven you differently.. sadly pathetic really. this is why nice guys finish last! and im goddamn bringin up the rear..

quotes of the week:
BJ Harmon, "im on a roll with this whole new outlook on life, If i can NOT have sex, i can sure as hell stay sober on a friday night!"

Momalou, "Money cant buy you happiness son.." Me, "Sure can buy alot of things that can mom!!" Momalou, "Ya good luck with that.... dumbass..."

Clay Miller, "IF SHE WASNT SO GOD DAMN STUPID.... I'D EFFFING LIKE THE DUMB BITCH!!!"
(he's always yelling if you dont understand the capslock...)

40 Days/ 40 Nights

And so it begins... 6 days ago. I believe the correct term is Sabbatical. A hiatus from the love of women and or self pleasure.. Nothing, nada, zip, zero, ZILCH!! What started as a simple comment to my sister ended up as 40 days of nothing... EFFF!! "I can't live without women. They make me happy!" AC says, "Maybe you need to take a sabbatical". And here i am!!! Self soothing without self pleasure.. And as we all know this is a hard concept to accomplish for men.

If you havent seen the movie(yes, im following a movie) go rent it!! Its a classic and hilarious!(title of blog) Im hoping i dont start a nervous twitch and become all wirey and weird, but sadly i think its already beginning.... *twitch*.

Rules for the course:
1. I can hang out and talk to girls but no dates!!
2. No touching, petting, holding hands, kissing, sex... blah blah efff!!
3. Self soothing without self pleasuure.. i.e. no masterbation
4. No talking about fight club...

Quotes on the week:

Clay Miller, "All's i know is my new life goal is to be quoted on your blog!!!" check!!!

Girl #2 "Bah! figured i'd give a relationship a try finally... You have to still talk to me!" Me, "haha!!, nah..." Girl #2, " You really won't talk to me!?" Me, "________".

Starship Trooper quote(for my pops) "Funny how they still wanna be your friend after they rip your guts out".



I've always thought of this pic after every time my boys have gotten hurt by a girl.. Steelin the pic from my Jonas for the moment. Don't get me wrong i've broken plenty of hearts but right now this about me hatin!!!

Facebook will be the death of you(woman)!!

Some things are worth being woke up at 5a.m. for!!! Sex, home cooked breakfast, coffee, and being proven right. Those are about it though...

A somewhat wise man(Jonas Harmon) once told me that a woman should never text you before 8a.m. and i've lived by this theory on most levels besides on women im actually dating.. cause i love mornings and i love texts that say good morning handsome... But this girl cross's the line on all levels!!! Remember girl #1?(refer to my first ever post) ya... So anyways she text me last thursday wanting to chill.. EFFF that and ignore... Well apparently she found out that i deleted her off of facebook at 5 in the damn morning yesterday!!! YOU DELETED ME OFF OF FACEBOOK!!? In the world we live in now a days this similar to the death penatly.. Nothing pisses someone off more than when theyre denied access to snoop on your life without you knowing.. Lets face it, that is all facebook is really good for. And then she goes on to reem me that i deleted her cause she didnt put out, and im the one fresh off of divorce, and i didnt want to date seriously.. and blah blah blah.. literally bitchin me out!! And then a message on facebook.. YOUR ASS NEEDS TO LEARN TO TALK AND COMMUNICATE TO ME BETTER!!! Your ass needs to shut the hell up!! DELETED!!! I've said it once ill say it again.. Women are crazy!!!!! Let's check the facts: If it took you a month to realize I deleted you, then i wasnt high on your "how is Zach doing" priority list. Second, I told you more then once dont text me before 8a.m.! And third, if you honestly think i deleted you cause you didnt put out you are seriously DUMB!! It's because your putting out to everyone BUT me!!! SO THERE!! whore...

Other women notes: internet dating continues to suck!!! I've got nothing.. not gonna lie.. apparently no women get my humor(most likely) or god damn brad pitt is playing all the women on match.com in utah.. Cause ya im that good looking. I still seem to have my bar girl hangin around... She pretends to be interested but doesnt seem to commit to actually hangin out with me.. i had to bribe her with starbucks on saturday morning just to see her.. I will use that tactic again if deemed necessary... There has been one other lead but my sister quickly shut that one down.. Morally im not in the place to make those kinds of decisions so i referred to the one person that will talk me off the doomed ledge.. I cant speak of the said woman cause you never know who's readin this shit... Lets just go with she's hot as hell and i'd have to run through a gauntlet to get her. plus she's way out of my league.. STORY OF MY LIFE!!!